et cetera, et cetera.

Note: WL is in engineering.

me: Are you going to Nuit Blanche?

WL: When is it?
me: Tomorrow! Talking to your woman about it. You should go. DATE NIGHT!
WL: Not really my thing.

me: Do it!
WL: Are you going?
me: Indeedy.

WL: Yeah.. Then I’m really not going. (haha) Just kidding, just kidding.. Hmm.. I doubt I’ll go. Nuit Blanche doesn’t entertain me. It doesn’t stimulate me the way math does.

Note: MC is a guy.

MC’s text: Sick. Siiick. :(
my text: Drink China men liquids. You’ll feel better fast.
MC’s text: Omg lol
my text: I just realized that can be interpreted sexually…
MC’s text: Ummm… I only interpreted that sexually.
my text: You would… We would.
MC’s text: Well, I have no idea what else that could mean lol
my text: Herbal soups, herbal teas, herbal syrups/medicines… All of which are brown..
MC’s text: … Oh, brown stuff. (see: http://epoone.tumblr.com/post/19675643553/thats-ricest)
my text: Yes. Exactly.
MC’s text: We’re so pervert.
my text: Your ESL is getting better.

                                  

MC’s text: My Internet isn’t working!
my text: Same with me at work. The world is coming to an end!
(20 minutes pass)
MC’s text: Omg omg omg omg
my text: What? Saw a vagina?
MC’s text: No. To the end of the world.
my text: Same thing.
MC’s text: Roughly.

At the ROM, somewhere in the Biodiversity Exhibit…

ROM-Employee: [holding a tiger stuffed-toy and a piece of some kind of white thing] Would you like to feel?
me: Hmm. I wonder what this could be.
ROM-Employee: Well, what is this? [raises tiger stuffed-toy]           

DG: A tiger.
ROM-Employee: Right, so what’s this? [raises piece of white thing]
me: Tiger fur!
ROM-Employee: What kind of tiger?
me: Siberian tiger?

ROM-Employee: Yup. This is real Siberian tiger fur.
me: Cool. It doesn’t really feel like fur because it’s not that usual soft-like feel.
DG: Yeah, this doesn’t feel like fur. It feels like a coat.

Then later…

DG: Look at this bird; it flew so fast it lost its skin.

At the TBG, somewhere near the entrance.

me: Oooh! Look! Those are so pretty!
DG: Yeah. What are they?
me: English Lavender. Does it smell like lavender?
DG: [sniffs] Yeah. It has a bit of an English accent though.

me: Do you have any older pictures of you? I mean, I want to know what you looked like in the past.
DG: Well, here’s a picture of me that was taken a week ago.
me: No. That’s not what I… No.

CH: I only want one penis and you know which one.
me: Mine? Yeah. Obviously. It is obscenely large. Offensive.
CH: I would give up Narnia for yours.

my text: I heard you have a lady friend? What’s this?
GC’s text: What you talking aboot? lol lady friend? Always do ;)
my text: Bahaha I heard you’re bringing a lady to camping?
GC’s text: Yeah, she’s never been camping before so I extended an invite to her lol
my text: Yeah? I bet you’ll extend something else to her..
GC’s text: Lololol hahahahahahahahahhahahahaha shhhhhhhhhh

i don’t have a cat; i’m allergic to cats

my text: [dogs are] Better than cats. Cats are so high maintenance.. And they don’t love you back
MP’s text: lmao a loveless relationship
my text: I’m very familiar with that kind. Sad face. But because [I’ve had so many] of those, I appreciate my current relationship soooooo much more.
MP’s text: With your cat? Or with DG? Or both?
me: Both. Obviously.

is it just me… or is everyone getting married these days?

there should be an instructions manual.

also, Man and Woman have German accents because they are from Germany.

me: I’m 24-years-old; I have a lot of life ahead of me.
Man: Wait. You’re telling me that I am 55 years older than you?
me: No way! You do not look like you’re 79!
Man: I am and my wife is going to make me hate it next year.
Woman: He turns 80 next year and I am going to laugh at him. I have known him for 54 years. We have been married for 53 years.
me: What! That’s amazing! Wow! I really hope that I can have something like that.
Man: People around your age and in these years seem to not last very long.
me: Yeah, it’s rare to hear stories about marriages lasting for long.
Woman: It was very different to get married back then.
Man: Yeah, back then, when people got married, they didn’t have stuff. They accumulated as they grew older. Now, people have stuff. Too much stuff—TV, computers, furniture and other things.
me: Yeah, it’s true.
Woman: Yeah, even furniture back then lasted long. You could buy a sofa and it would last you 30 years. Now, furniture is not so good.
Man: Marriage now is like Ikea furniture: cheap to buy, easy to build, falls apart fast!